Monday, December 7, 2009

Just tin

I have just had a loss of appetite having read this which has resulted in the following spontaneous burst of poetic criticism:




Carry On

Had they driven all this way
to come face to face
with the head
of a fat soaked
beast and a slick

of indeterminable
intestines whose hosts
were unidentifiable
in the thick of it.
Was this the Styx,

bloodied and carcass
strewn? Had they
crashed, head long, into
hell? Their own
bodies mingled with

the mangled
formless parts:
lungs, hooves,
limbs, livers or hearts:
none could determine

in the horror as they
clambered from the
wreck of it. Merged
by-products of human
nature; the wish

to consume slips over
the tarmac, the verge,
the wayside: wasted.
The road is closed,
only for now.

Two posts for you this week - I'm going AWOL from blogging for a couple of weeks as I need to sort out some issues I am having with my WIP so please be patient with me: I'll try and keep up to scratch with comments on my blog but I may not be as visible in the rest of blog land for a while. Thank you. Your comments are, as always, very much appreciated.

27 comments:

Titus said...

Nice one!

My father owned a slaughterhouse; I grew up in it. Felt quite at home.

N. God Savage said...

Disturbing news story. Great poem.

Rachel Fenton said...

I'm really glad these poems have had such strong reactions. I haven't had the confidence to send my poetry out anywhere yet - might start soon. Literally just wrote this one though.

Thanks for your comments.

Will add more thoughts as I think them...

Rachel Fenton said...

Oh..I know...oh, but..second thoughts - you just inspired me to write something else, Titus!

NGS - I think I've read everything of yours online - brilliant stuff!

Donna Hosie said...

Great poem, Rachel, although that story is stomach-churning.

And my word verification: deadsel! Most apt.

Rachel Fenton said...

I know, Donna - it's an offal story :)...dum de dum...thanks. That word can go into the new language...

Andrea said...

Wow - this poem is really strong stuff but really good! A double dose of poetry is most welcome - I'll probably be a bit awol from blogging myself - end of year madness or some such!

Has been great reading your blog this year though :)

Thomas Taylor said...

Pray for rain!

Uncommonly good poem for something that was 'just written'.

Rachel Fenton said...

I pity the poor blogggers who had to clean it up!

I am definitely a better poet when I don't think and just write, Thomas. I literally read the article this lunch time (times are wrong on these comments) and wrote it off the top of my head in five minutes, counted the lines and chopped them up into fives. Consumerism was on my mind beforehand and my husband's a vegetarian and it has a nod to William Morris' "Haystack in the Flood", so it's not as genius as you fear to give me credit for!

I wish that I could write this easily more often! Sadly I do have some weeks where it's very hard going - as it is with my novel currently.

There are a couple of lines I'd like to change now but I'll wait a while before I twiddle about with them.

Thanks so much for swinging by to comment.


If anyone comments and I don't reply straight away, I apologise, I will do my best to reply to you all as soon as possible. I'm very grateful for you taking the time to read my blog.

Rachel Fenton said...

Thanks so much, Andrea, I'm really glad you liked it.

As I said to Thomas, it starts with a nod to William Morris but then I'm not sure what happened to it!

Rachel Fenton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave King said...

I have been having the same thought that you voiced previously: "Is it me or has everyone been blogging about death lately?"
It's not the subject matter, but how you treat it that matters, of course.
Hurry back to us.

Thomas Taylor said...

I didn't mean to sound suspicious, Rachel, and I look forward to seeing what you do with this fine verse.

Nodding at William Morris is a fine thing to do at lunchtime:)

Teresa Stenson said...

Great poem, Rachel. Good luck with your WIP issues, seems a sensible thing to take a break from the blogosphere if you need it.

PS - I still keep thinking about the Spider Face Incident. (ageugh)

Elisabeth said...

All this talk of death. It's part pf life isn't it? It helps to talk about death, by way of preparation, though not too much, otherwise we won't live.

Wonderful and spontaneous poem. I hope whatever takes you way from blog land does not waylay you for too long. I've only just met you.

pennygj said...

disturbing news item, brilliantly portrayed in your poem, Rachel. Good luck with your WIP, will be sending you positive vibes across the blogosphere...!
Penny x

Annotated Margins said...

A powerful poem. 'Tis a shame it speaks so much truth! (I really dig the title.)

Golden West said...

I always enjoy your posts, be they poetry or musings. Wishing you all the best with your work in progress and a very merry Christmas season with your family.

Rachel Fenton said...

Thanks, Dave, I'll get back ASAP pending WIP!

I don't want to give the impression that I dislike reading about death on other people's blogs - I'm not having a dig at anyone - I only meant to comment that it was an common theme of late. Please don't take offence anyone!

Thomas - I'm sorry, my comment makes me sound such a twerp!
Are you familiar with "Haystack in the Floods"? There's a link here for anyone who wants to have a squidge at it: http://www.victorianweb.org/authors/morris/haystack.html

Usually I just feel like nodding off at lunch, Thomas. Thanks for coming back. I'm really glad you pop back to sort me out!


Teresa, hi, I am in need of some sense! Thank you re. the poem and WIP wishes. You and me both then, re. the spider!


Elisabeth, I agree, death's not too scary if you talk about it a little, but as you say, not too much!

With the "Home" poem I was thinking about how many poets use imagery - such as buildings etc - as a metaphor for death and I wanted to use death as a metaphor for some other kind of atrophy (um, death), in this case, how it would feel for me to not be able to write. It doesn't really matter in anyone else can read that far into it or not - I'm happy with it being a death poem, and I'm glad you like reading my blog! Thank you.



Penny, thanks so much for the vibes, I am in need of some serious electric current I think - not feeling very lively at the minute, that's for sure! Hopefully a wee break will have my mind untangled from the worry of the snag in my WIP! Glad you liked (not really the right word) the poem. I wonder if I'll write happy stuff when I get my novel straightened out?



A.M. - I knew you'd get this! Definitely had your blog in mind when I read the article! Glad you picked up on the title, too. Thanks. I appreciate your opinions.


G.W. I very much enjoy your blog, also! Am sad the barber series is ending! So pleased you enjoy reading my wafflings - poetic or otherwise!

Back at you with the tidings of the season! And thank you.


Looking forward to getting back to all of your blogs soon! Thanks everyone :)

Thomas Taylor said...

Thanks for the link, Rachel -- I didn't know that poem. It's very much of its time, and quite horrible in one sense, though strong.

have a good rest and Happy Christmas to you and your family if we don't 'speak' sooner.

Rachel Fenton said...

It is of its time in style, yes Thomas - but what a great "strong" heroine, especially for being written by a man of that time! I love it. It's almost cinematic in its imagery and I like that it doesn't end all soppy and tosh! It doesn't take the easy way out. Also, for a reasonably long poem, it reads so quickly and easily - wonderful! It is very grizzly though!

Thank you so much. Feliz Navidad to you and yours (they play that song here everywhere - too much already - and it stays in my brain for nine months of the year!) - but really do have a lovely Merry Christmas. School breaks up for six weeks next week - aaaargh!

Tom Bailey said...

These really paint some unique mental images. You wrote this very well.

Best regards,
Tom Bailey

Rachel Fenton said...

Thank you, Tom.
You know, there really is no need to be so formal on this blog - you make me feel like I should be addressing you as Mr Bailey, and that just makes you sound ancient! Relax a little, you could just sign off as TB...on second thoughts...Tom will do nicely :)

Dominic Rivron said...

It reminds me of the foot and mouth outbreak we had round here. Mountains of corpses of culled animals heaped up and burned with old car tyres. Palls off black smoke over the village for days. From the top of the hill it looked like a suburb of Mordor.

Rachel Fenton said...

"Suburb of Mordor" - brilliant description - yes, I remember that, and all the horrid images on the news. As a result of that, we had to have all our footwear scrubbed, then inspected at the airport when we moved here. Nothing like culling a few thousand beasts when we humans mess up! Thanks for your comment!

Dick said...

What an extraordinary event! And what a powerful response, Rachel.

Come back soon.

Rachel Fenton said...

Thanks, Dick, normal service should resume shortly.