Saturday, July 17, 2010

Alba back

Photograph courtesy of The McGowan.

A novel lesson, part two: an exciting incident.

You may be wondering if you blinked or, shock horror, if my last post was all a dream.

No fear - your comments are saved and much valued.

Breathing Apparatus


On shore in the dark -

not night -

two thousand miles

between us; ocean flicks

its tongue.

Pick a shell,

lift it to my ear; it sighs

into me.

And there is sand between my toes.


“Doing quiet somersaults

thinking of you”;

I have run away

with your circus.


He'd never managed to fix your tap

and his car set tongues wagging

but he saved your life

though all you can report is that you saved his.

You knew it was a heart attack

when his plumb line went flat

but your husband wasn't convinced

it was necessary to remove the plumber's

trousers to give him mouth to mouth.


Lori said...

Hey, what happened? I didn't even get a chance to leave my comment. I mean, obviously, it took me a long time to understand your poem (with the use of multiple dictionaries) because you know I am a little slower than most of your readers. In any case, I am happy to see you coming back with words that rise quicker inside me too (and one even made me laugh--I hope it was intended to do so). I am mesmerized by your versification. And now there is a circus on the beach inside my head.

And the photo is so, so beautiful and really suitable for a poetess! It looks like you are thinking of something of beauty and serenity and I like to imagine what that might be.

Andrea said...

Nice to see you there, Rachel!

I think I blinked and missed the last post, but I like this poem a lot. Very thought provoking stuff, as usual. Looking forward to more :)

Rachel Fenton said...

Lori - you are ace! Yes, you may laugh! Enjoy the circus. And thanks - not only for the comment.

Andrea, cheers - back at you. Blinking is better than blinkers. Skip as many pages as you want - a stale novel becomes an intriguing mystery that way. Jump around, linear to post-modern. It's your story.

steven said...

"coasting" set me hovering in that delicious space between the real and the imagined. i love writing that allows you to step inside and walk around, feel the sand between my onw toes. sweet pic at the top!! steven

Rachel Fenton said...

Hey Steven, glad to have taken you there. Thanks. I'll give you a call down the next sea shell I pick up.

Thomas Taylor said...

You look very glamorous in that picture, Rachel. You make me wish I'd been catching the same train.

I hope you'll repost that sonnet sometime.

Rachel Fenton said...

You're such a wag sometimes, Thomas! Thank you.

Yeah, I'll definitely repost it.

Inside scoop on the photo - it was taken by my daughter's Head teacher!!!(Think he has a soft spot for me - shush!) Alas not a romantic train journey but me waiting to wave my little long legs off to camp. Every building in NZ looks like a rail hut!

Dave King said...

Well, that drew me in. Very evocative and at the same time emotionally satisfying. You should be very well satisfied with it yourself.

Golden West said...

Hi Rachel,

That is a splendid photograph of you! I, too, thought you were off on a journey. But come to think of it, every day is a journey of sorts, as we make our way from dawn to dusk.

My mom's shirt - she's an L.L. Bean (iconic American outdoorsy brand out of Maine) devotee and has their striped shirts in multiple colors. She's 83 now and much to my dismay, our walks are becoming fewer and farther between.

Rachel Fenton said...

Thank you Dave, I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

GW, you mum has the figure of a much younger woman! And cool taste in clothes! You're right about the journey. Thank you. I hope you and your mum can find more time to hang out.

Kass said...

Love the ocean flicking her tongue. Loved both poems. I'm a little delayed in my reading and reactions. Life here is strange, strained, but has a lightness of being that is bearable.

Rachel Fenton said...

Kass, you're hanging in there and I'm not sure there are many as strong as you in the circumstances. You have a generosity of spirit I am in awe of.

On a side note - your profile pic is gorgoeus.

Thank you for finding the time.

Camroc Press Review said...

Lovely poems, Rachel. Why don't you contact us about showcasing some of your work on CPR?


Rachel Fenton said...

Hi Barry,
I'll send you some more stuff, then, thanks for asking - it's lovely to be asked for submissions :)

Mohamed Mughal said...

Like it, especially the last stanza.

Rachel Fenton said...

Hi Mohamed - it's a change of tone, isn't it, but I'm glad you think it works - thanks :)

Teresa Stenson said...

Love both these poems, Rachel.

That change of tone in the 2nd one is unexpected and turns everything around - interesting. The first is gorgeous though. Thanks for sharing with us.

Rachel Fenton said...

Thanks, Teresa.
How's the lip curling coming along?

Teresa Stenson said...

80% of respondants reported a left curl, 10% a right curl, with the remaining 10% being double curlers.

NB 'double curling' refers to the act of raising EITHER side independently and DOES NOT apply to lifting BOTH left and right at the same time.

Rachel Fenton said...

Hahaha! Brilliant research! Erm...what are you going to do with it...going to bob over to your blog now and see what's curling...

Annotated Margins said...

Wonderful poems. I'm glad to read them. But don't run away with the circus. Been there, done that... it was weird.

Rachel Fenton said...

Yeah, I well imagine! Cheers.

Hey, did you notice there were three poems under one title? No one else did....