Sunday, June 2, 2013

Hunters snow

Hunters in the Snow

My hair made antlers.
*
The sky: coloured lead.
*
‘I’m not enough?’
*
Green was everywhere.
            Green laughed
*
I pointed, ‘That’s new.’ Had I expected skaters still cutting circuits into the ice?
                                                                                                                                                ‘I thought it’d be more green, like in the painting.’
*
Green said.
We had a good view of Ikea on Amrasa-See-Strasse where the lake used to be.
*
 ‘Things change,’
*
Trees weren’t lined in a perfect diagonal to lead us into the scene; painted white, the church steeple was now difficult to pick out from the snow, and the river was in the wrong place though still rippled like a vein hanging from the teeth of the Alps like a shred of Actaeon.  
*
We had walked a short distance from the Hotel Bierwirt where my husband was sleeping off the previous evening’s overindulgence.
*
We stopped to look across Amras as if we were hunters come home empty handed. Behind us Ambras Castle, its windows cross stitched eyes, birds’ footprints.  
We had walked a short distance from the Hotel Bierwirt where my husband was sleeping off the previous evening’s overindulgence.
Trees weren’t lined in a perfect diagonal to lead us into the scene; painted white, the church steeple was now difficult to pick out from the snow, and the river was in the wrong place though still rippled like a vein hanging from the teeth of the Alps like a shred of Actaeon.  
‘Things change,’ Green said.
We had a good view of Ikea on Amrasa-See-Strasse where the lake used to be.
I pointed, ‘That’s new.’ Had I expected skaters still cutting circuits into the ice? ‘I thought it’d be more green, like in the painting.’ Green was everywhere.
            Green laughed, ‘I’m not enough?’
The sky: coloured lead. My hair made antlers.

6 comments:

Lori said...

Love this, Rachel! Very effective technique.

Rachel Fenton said...

Thank you, Lori - it's my entry for this:
http://flashmob2013.wordpress.com/the-contest-rules/
Deadline's the 10th - I'm getting in early!

You should enter!

Michelle Elvy said...

OK I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I love the antlers. This is a crazy piece, but I love how it roams wild...

Rachel Fenton said...

Cheers, Michelle! It's crazy random like snow until it settles and you can follow the footprints. And find a dear hart at the end of them. Or a big moose :)

EKSwitaj said...

I like how the first several lines serves as a kind of overture for the rest of the piece. In that way, it reminds me of the Sirens episode of Ulysses (though your piece emphasises sight where that one emphasises sound).

Rachel Fenton said...

Thank you! It is an overture of sorts. I was aware of rhythms, with repeating Green, for eg, and the sound of each line, and it had to "play" in reverse as well but not the same as forwards - so music was influential. I'm really pleased you picked up on that. Visually, I'll write a post to explain what I was doing. Sight is the key word for this piece. Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment!